Christian's Beach Is Now Closed

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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Jacob Bulinski

Jacob Bulinski
Date of Birth/Death October 23, 2008
Illinois - USA

"A moment on this Earth, forever in our hearts. We love and miss you Jacob.

Mommy, Daddy and Steven"

1 Send Your Love Here:

Mommy said...

It has been almost 3 years since we said goodbye to you and my pain is still as raw as it was then. During this time in 2008 was when we found out there was something very wrong with you and that you may not survive. Oh how I prayed and prayed they were wrong. I begged, I pleaded, I bargained with God to let you please be ok. I begged him to let you live and to take me instead after you came safely into this world. My prayers went unanswered and the worst news possible was delivered to me. I was on my way to your grandma's house to pick up your big brother when I saw the doctor's phone number ring on my phone. It was 5 minutes to 5 pm on a Friday afternoon. My heart sank and I knew. When I answered, it was the doctor and not her nurse. I knew. I knew then that I would not be bringing you home with me. The wail that escaped my throat didn't even seem human. I have never sobbed so hard in my life. I had to pull the car over. I sat on the side of the road for what seemed like an eternity holding my belly and sobbing for you. How could this be? Why me? Why you? I wanted you so much. I loved you so much. It wasn't fair. I wanted you with me. I sobbed knowing that you would never feel my arms around you. You would never feel my kisses. You would never know your brother. Did you know how much I loved you? Did you know I would have given my life to save yours? There hasn't been a day that has gone by in the past three years that I haven't thought about you. When I watch your brother play, I wonder what you would have looked like? I wonder what your personality would have been like? I wonder what your laugh would have sounded like? There is a void in my life that can never be filled by anyone but you. I love you more than life and wish you were here with me. Maybe you are - I'm not sure. Peace Jacob. Know that I love you and think of you every day of my life and always will.